I have become Death....

Thats a paraphrased line from the Bhagavad Gita (not a Greek reference SB), but I digress. Anyway, last night Im checking my OU email and notice one of their rotating stories is a humor article written in condemning an OK rep's withdrawn proposal to force every girl in the state to get the HPV vaccine. Normally I don't bother commenting on anything since its the definition of pointless, but this time I was so pissed at the retarded "humorous" reasoning I had to write in. I pointed out the article's glaring flaws, which amounted to idiot Xian bashing, while he missed the boat on civil liberty. I also took a kill shot saying he by extension probably supports Bushs' domestic security policies. To an arrogant college liberal, this is like throwing water on the Wicked Witch of the West.

When I checked back today to see if my comment had been approved I found the entire article had vanished into the ether of the internet. Did I make them cry so bad they retracted it? Or did they decide the article wasn't good anyway? I choose you former!

I guess we finally updated to the new blogger? fancy.
Anyone have an opinion on mandatory HPV vaccine?

The ol' Switcheroo

So I'm sure our legions of readers were on the edge of their seats reading CVR and me battle it out over on Outraged. If you think this was thrilling I might try to find the literal stack of papers we both produced in written rebuttals to each other about the Iraq war some years ago. (Ironically, I stipulated I would only communicate about Iraq by writing b/c I thought it would be quicker than talking about it-that was foolish)

Anyway, as I normally do, as our readers watched (or read), I worked CVR over. My blows were so many they blotted out the sun. Desperate to win, CVR used the guise of coming to Norman for a concert to visit me. In truth, he carried on his person a vial of a particularly nasty strain of flu. As we all carried on and had fun, CVR slipped the contents of the dark vial into my drink. Historians now dispute what happened next. Some say my advanced ninja skills detected the corruption before it hit my lips, and I simply switched my drink for his. Others contend that CVR is a known alcoholic, and simply couldn't part with his own hard earned booze, tainted or not.

Quickly though, CVR found out that his plans weren't as rock solid as he initially thought. He realized this about 20 minutes after he left my house, as he pooped in his car.

Lesson Learned: Don't try to poison people.

Meat and such..

So.. meat week has been pretty okay.. games, beers, vodka's.. you know. that sorta thing. first, hotdogs.

Affectionately named "The Homewrecker", this 1 1/2 pound hot dog can be purchased at Cherokee Casino for a mere $2.50. The price includes fries or chips. The sight of this thing is indescribable. It is, obscene.


my girlfriend is questioning my method of hotdog consumption. see, look at her.



we had more hot dogs and more pics at different places, including home, but I'm not going to post a ton of pics on here.. so, lets just say the day ended pretty nicely.

NEXT HAMBURGER!

hamburger dudes..



these blue cheese butter burgers were fucking awesome. perfect infact. I did make some salmon burgers, and a delicious black bean burger, that was fucking good as all shit. but those were kinda break'n the rules.



making' burgers.

last night was chicken, so I made fried chicken, potatoes, gravy, all the extra shit. It was quiet good, except i cause a huge grease fire at one point. le sigh. but again, fun was to be had. some people that were over wouldn't participate. it made me sad.

um.. here's a pic of a creepy lincoln. post more later!



p.s. I'll be at of montreal, see ya suckers there!

Conspiracy Theory

Glancing...I mean reading the insightful editorials of the Oklahoma Daily today a chick was blabbing about the Vagina Monologues. As she went on and on and on, I had an epiphany, "What if Valentine's Day was just made by some desperate guy trying to have another different kind of V-Day?"

Could Valentines just be the accidental snowball of one guy desperate to get some, and said "Hey, Judy, ummmmm you're so special to me next week I'm making up a holiday for you." Then hilariously all his friends got roped into doing it. It spread, like the blob, consuming all in its path. Much later it was then turned into Darth Vader by Hallmark.

So if this is the case, I salute you guy-who-likes-to-make-up-his-own-holidays/festivals. Although mine is far cooler.

P.S. Typing in "Meat Week" for the first time I found this. Thats it, everything is going to be in Movientcian from now on.

Meat Week 07'

Generally, every year when I write exhorting people to abandon the archaic ways of Valentine’s Day for Meat Week I often use the same arguments everyone else does. Meat Week isn’t special in that its a replacement for V-Day, there are plenty of anti-Valentine parties held by bitter, lonely singles. Emo college kids writing terrible newspaper articles outline the same tired material: Valentine’s is attacked as a day of separating the have’s from the have-not’s. It’s labeled as being little more than Hallmark and Big Chocolate’s own personal advertisement. The essence of Valentine’s Day may have been indeed grand, yet corporations have replaced the flesh of Valentine’s Day with the cold steel and circuitry of materialism and consumerism. Valentine’s Day and Christmas are now desperately trying to warn Easter, lest it too be assimilated into the Borg.
Yes, we all know any day with real meaning has been kidnapped by boardroom’s realizing holiday’s are the perfect viral marketing campaign. I’m not going to sit here and tell you what you already know. If you want to hear about Valentine’s Day singling out the singles then we can go up to my room and I’ll strum some Dashboard for you. What I want you to understand why you should free yourself from what's expected from you is that Meat Week is actually enjoyable.
What? You’re waiting for me to stop babbling so you can find out how to celebrate this festival of festivals? Fine, I’ll let you in on the know.

Day 1 (Feb 10): Links (brats, hotdogs, etc.)
Day 2 (Feb 11): Grounded (hamburger, ground venison, etc.)
Day 3 (Feb 12): Fowl (chicken, game hens, etc.)
Day 4 (Feb 13): Pork (pork, etc.)
Day 5 (Feb 14): Steak (beef, lamb, etc.)

Its really quite simple, you just gather your friends round and grill the selected type of meat. After that many people choose to play games, wear construction paper crowns, or drink heavily. Try out some chair jousting, sled down the stairs, play foosball, make up some ridiculous game, the purpose of the week is for stress-free enjoyment. Girls have been allowed to participate in Meat Week as decided by the first Meat Week counsel. Disgustingly affectionate couples are banned, and should be persecuted. A tip to first timers though, Meat Week is supposed to have its crescendo on Day 5. So don’t have so much fun on Day 1 you're out of commission for the rest of the week. Its about community, and there can’t be much community if everyone is cursing death from fleeing from them.

Have the best Meat Week ever!

I'm kinda gross.

Ok, I'm not going to post a full blog.. maybe, we'll see how it goes. just a preview.

First, and for some reason I cant get this out of my head, I filled my mouth with some nice hardened mucus from my nose.. right before I made out with a girl. I made her eat my buggers. Hooray!....

I also sharted in these like, track pants things, like, they're pretty comfortable. anyway, it wasnt a big deal just kinda stinky. I had taken them camping. When I got back, i put them in the dirty laundry hamper. Next day, girl is wearing them around the house. ????????? does she not smell the awful shit coming from the pants? I do. I slept not near her. uhg.

Argentina was filled with debauchery and strangeness. and gay clubs. for the love of god, i dont want to go to a gay club. FUCK.

I started poking around old abandoned houses in Tahlequah. Thats pretty fun, here are a few sample pics.





someone got laaaaaiiidddd!!!




ok.. so then.. I made a drink, hobo's delight.. its like, what hobos drink on their birthday or some shit.. or when they've rolled a drunk and stolen his wallet. Hobo's Delight will make your face explode." The ingredients to Hobo's Delight will set you back $10. If you really wanna drink this stuff, I suggest chilling it real good and proper before mixing. We purchased a 40 oz of Evil Eye, 750 mL of Cisco Red Flavor, 750 mL of Mad Dog 20/20 Orange Jubilee Flavor and a large can of Pineapple Juice.



all prepared up.



and, we made a meatloaf cake. It was delicious. mashed potatoes and peas on the outside. all piped up.



more later.

My Weekend

Via another humor website I visit I wandered onto a Havard girls sex blog. It got me wondering...what if I turned my weekend into such a blog?

Actual weekend: Nothing happens. Except I should mention I found out my new blanket is so static prone that at night I can run my hand under it and watch sparks flash. Entertainment concerns have been fixed for the next few months.

Revised weekend to gain internet fame:

Thursday: Deciding to take a break from school reading and law school applications I decide to actually leave the house. After a discussion of where to go, we ended up at a new place called “Blu”. I make sure we end up there as its the place where there’s an overly friendly, and super hot bar maid. I don’t remember anything that exciting happening, but I did wake up with a wooden coin in my pocket beckoning me to play pool, and the bar girls number. Aside from some good convo, I also found its now become a running joke between Jumpy & Miyuki of how long I can go without bringing up a certain battle between the Greeks and Persians. Apparently my record is 5 minutes.

Lesson learned: I need to replace the Six Days War and Spartans with new historical examples so people will want to kill me less.

Friday: Since I went to bed around 4am the night, or morning before, I wake up late and strangely hungover. I scramble to prepare the house for the reunion party for everyone that went to Jordan. I got Jumpy to help me cook the Arab food I’m going to make. Of note, Jumpy can’t stand raw chicken (he’s a neat freak) and I offer him a valentine (the chicken heart) as a hilarious joke when I’m chopping up a whole one for a thing called mansaaf. He doesnt think its as funny. The party largely sucks since its apparent we only all got along in Jordan since we slightly liked each other more than the scary Arabs. The Wii actually not only saves the party but carries like Atlas.

Lesson learned: Just becuase your in Asia doesn’t mean 1) youre actually friends, and 2) the girls you made-out with in Jordan were only attractive due to Camp Syndrome.

Saturday: It seems like its going to be a normal night, yet then I actually get a hold of the a fore mentioned super hot barmaid at Blu, Natalie. After we meet up where people are playing pool I forgo my disgust of being sick of Wii to invite her back for some tennis. Things go nicely as the night passes from late to early morning, and I get to touch boobs that should be encased in gold. (This touches into a story Im concocting about the Wii).

Lesson learned: A terrible weekend can be saved by a awe inspiring rack.

Sunday: Suspect I shouldn’t try my luck as the rest of the weekend probably turned out way better than it should have. Make plans for the next week.

Lesson learned: K-Fed’s rap in that one commercial sounds like any other rap. Music industry should be ashamed, if it had any morals.