Art Imitates Life

So here’s this point and counterpoint from the Onion. A girl I used to date, Jane, thought it sounded like how her and I used to talk about politics. I’ll let you guess which one she thought sounded like her and who sounded like me. At first I protested, but as I thought about it, she’s kinda right. I happen to have an old taped conversation of us talking about politics (I tape all my conversations):

Me: Hey, how’s it going?
Jane: (launches into a list of complaints about me, it goes on for a while)
Me: Umm, yeah, so anyway.
Jane: I just read this article about the war in Iraq, and it mentioned we have also invaded this place called.....umm...I think its called something foreign. Landiland? Yeah, what do you think about those wars?
Me: What? I think you mean ‘Afghanistan’, anyway they’re kinda totally different in their nature. One was pretty controversial and-
(Interupting)Jane: I cant believe we’re killing these Landilanders! Its so sad how everyone just beats up on Africa.
Me: *sighs and looks at the ceiling* We’re in Afghanistan to help-
Jane: You just say what George Bush tells you to in your little secret earpiece! You can’t defend anything you think! You’re a Nazi!
Me: *stare blankly* I’m not even sure what we’re talking about.
Jane: We’re talking about that bullets have been proven to cause climate change! We’re talking about how you support all these illegal wars! I thought you wanted to save Africa! You probably think we should just drop nukes on all the Landilanders! Murderer.
Me: Are you really in college, or just telling people that? I bet you’re an English major.
Jane: See? You can’t defend anything!
Me: You’re lucky I have an irrational attraction to Orientals.



hilarious.

I have become Death....

Thats a paraphrased line from the Bhagavad Gita (not a Greek reference SB), but I digress. Anyway, last night Im checking my OU email and notice one of their rotating stories is a humor article written in condemning an OK rep's withdrawn proposal to force every girl in the state to get the HPV vaccine. Normally I don't bother commenting on anything since its the definition of pointless, but this time I was so pissed at the retarded "humorous" reasoning I had to write in. I pointed out the article's glaring flaws, which amounted to idiot Xian bashing, while he missed the boat on civil liberty. I also took a kill shot saying he by extension probably supports Bushs' domestic security policies. To an arrogant college liberal, this is like throwing water on the Wicked Witch of the West.

When I checked back today to see if my comment had been approved I found the entire article had vanished into the ether of the internet. Did I make them cry so bad they retracted it? Or did they decide the article wasn't good anyway? I choose you former!

I guess we finally updated to the new blogger? fancy.
Anyone have an opinion on mandatory HPV vaccine?

The ol' Switcheroo

So I'm sure our legions of readers were on the edge of their seats reading CVR and me battle it out over on Outraged. If you think this was thrilling I might try to find the literal stack of papers we both produced in written rebuttals to each other about the Iraq war some years ago. (Ironically, I stipulated I would only communicate about Iraq by writing b/c I thought it would be quicker than talking about it-that was foolish)

Anyway, as I normally do, as our readers watched (or read), I worked CVR over. My blows were so many they blotted out the sun. Desperate to win, CVR used the guise of coming to Norman for a concert to visit me. In truth, he carried on his person a vial of a particularly nasty strain of flu. As we all carried on and had fun, CVR slipped the contents of the dark vial into my drink. Historians now dispute what happened next. Some say my advanced ninja skills detected the corruption before it hit my lips, and I simply switched my drink for his. Others contend that CVR is a known alcoholic, and simply couldn't part with his own hard earned booze, tainted or not.

Quickly though, CVR found out that his plans weren't as rock solid as he initially thought. He realized this about 20 minutes after he left my house, as he pooped in his car.

Lesson Learned: Don't try to poison people.