In the Spirit of Xmas

So I mentioned my friend had been arrested for assault and battery (a&b to the cool kids). Allow me to recount the story (swirling music with snow):

So my friend Jumpy is really excited about his companies Xmas party that was coming up. He was telling me about a thing in the summer they have called 'Sping Break' where they give everyone free beer and have games and crap. So apparently the Xmas party is open bar, band, etc. and going to be equal or more amounts of fun. Jumpy isn't a drinker,like Stoner Boner, but everyone gets giddy on drinking on their boss' tab.

So Jumpy goes to the party which is being held at a local OKC place called "Pearls". The night is drawing a close to the party, and only around ten people are left. Instead of going home peacefully, the band's drummer and this company chick start exchanging words. Apparently it gets heated enough for two other company guys to get in the drummers face. Now enter Jumpy...

I should say that Jumpy isn't a nonviolence-hippy kind of guy, but he's been the calm voice that has prevented possible fights in the past. Notably the time I almost got into a fist fight during RISK. So there's the back ground, Jumpy is nice. Actually he's the opposite of the ready-to-fight-at-the-beckon-call CVR was back in his pre-Allison days.

So Jumpy, who seems to enjoy irony, gets in between the arguing guys to calm the storm, as he always does. Jumpy at some point decides the only logical course of action is to punch the drummer in the face, which he promptly does. The drummer and lead singer then tackle Jumpy and everyone gets thrown out by security. For some reason Jumpy is the only one arrested. And the drummer turns out to be a big enough douche to press charges.

I haven't got to ask him the details about the incident since I figured he was sick of explaining it to his Japanese girlfriend (who sounds hilarious when shes concerned). He was also fired after he finally was bailed out and made it back to work.

p.s. dont forget to check out Stoner Boner's post below (Im developing a habit of posting right after people)

tired

í´m tired. ready to come home and spend new years with my friends. i hope the holidays are treating everyone well.. i recently got back to buenos aires and therefore to computers and phones. so now I get to catch up on my fav sites.

This was a year of firsts. First time I ever got so mad that I flipped off the dog AND said "fuck you!" First time I ever got myself fired by a vendor. First time I ever said pure, wonderful swear words to a vendor. It was so wonderful to swear at that vendor. It was like heroin, except one of the two people was saying "YOU ARE DONE FUCKING ME." And no needles. Like that, I was fired. It was like finishing a race. Their product was so crappy.

chris onstad should be my dad.

What am I? A video game maker machine?

Kari's post below got me wondering about which religion has the right stuff for some good video games. I used to play a limited amount of video games (Warcraft's, Starcraft) but today I generally live vicariously through just watching this videogame review show X-Play on G4. That being said, I have the street creds to be able to say whats good and whats not. If you were wondering if just watching a show about someone else playing games actually gives you the useful knowledge of those games, it does. I also watch a lot of shows about talking to girls.

But anyway, how do the world religions stack up against each other? Prepare yourself for the final showdown. I've reviewed the games I made up in my head. Here's the first three:

Christianity: You play as Jesus and run around telling people you're the awaited Messiah. Think that a non-violence message makes for poor first person 'shooter'? You'd be right. You dont ever kill or even attack anyone, the game wants you to believe you're on some big quest, but it doesn't take too long to figure out you just are walking from point to point and talking about forgiveness (yay). There are a minigames of multiplying bread loafs, turning water into wine, and healing people. These are kinda okay, but in the end they're just interuptions of walking. *Spoiler Alert* There's also no big boss battle in the end, you just get executed. 1 out of 5 crosses

But like any good franchise there's a sequel. You play as JC when you come back and the world gets destroyed. This one is way better than the first. The action and violence is all totally there, but the game fails to stay interesting when you're destroying legions of evil and you realize you can't be hurt. Lame. The game further falls apart in the Heaven levels, which are totally boring. 2 out of 5 white horses

Islam: I got this game right before the game developer's building was blown-up for depicting Mohammad. But the game is pretty fun. Its an RTS style and you lead you're small army against the Meccans for rejecting the Truth. The later levels had some pretty cool big battles. Another interesting aspect of the game is setting up trade networks with other tribes. The mediation minigames are fun, and they add the to the administrative feeling of the trade part of the game. Unfortunately, the game comes only in Classical Arabic, so be prepared to never really have any idea of whats going on. The only bad part of the game really is the environment, which is mostly desert. The graphics are otherwise good, but they could have done something to spice up the sand. 4 out of 5 double-bladed swords

Buddhism: This one sucks more than the Christian game. You play the ol' Enlightened One and the game starts when you abandon everything to search for truth. Whats this mean for game play? You sit. The game play is you basically adjust Siddartha in his sitting position so he doesn't tip over or become distracted from meditating.
1 out of 5 slow, thoughtful heartbeats

Convert or Die!

Christian video game stokes controversy

DALLAS, Texas (Reuters) -- A Christian video game has become the latest battleground in America's "culture" wars, with its maker claiming it promotes prayer while critics charge it carries a message of violent religious intolerance.

"Left Behind: Eternal Forces," is a teen-rated PC strategy game based on the wildly popular "Left Behind" Christian book series created by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins.

The game is set in New York City after millions of Christians have been transported to heaven.
Players are charged with recruiting, and converting, an army that will engage in physical and spiritual warfare with the antichrist and his evil followers.

An advocacy group "Campaign to Defend the Constitution" -- which monitors right-wing religious activities -- says the game is violently pro-Christian and has petitioned retail giant Wal-Mart Stores Inc. to pull it from its shelves.

The critics describe it as "a violent video game in which born-again Christians aim to convert or kill those who don't adhere to their extreme ideology."

"After you kill somebody you need to recharge your soul points and to do that you need to bend down in prayer. ... I think the message is extremely clear," said Clark Stevens, co-director of Campaign to Defend the Constitution.

A Wal-Mart spokeswoman said the company was selling it in stores where it expected demand.
The game's maker dismissed criticism.

"The reality is that our game perpetuates prayer and worship and that there is no killing in the name of God," said Troy Lyndon, CEO of Left Behind Games Inc.

"There is killing of course, it is a video game. But the basis of the game is spiritual welfare," said Lyndon.

"The antichrist is the main bad guy and so you are dealing with his henchmen. Both sides are trying to win the hearts and the minds of people who are not on either side," Lyndon, who describes himself as a "follower of Christ," told Reuters.

He added that sales of the game have been brisk. It was launched in stores last month.
America has some 60 million evangelical Christians by some estimates and church attendance rates are much higher here than in other parts of the developed world -- so there is a huge market for consumer goods with Christian themes.

This also means America's "culture wars" often have religious undertones.
Many mainstream Christians and secular groups accuse some conservative evangelicals of displaying intolerance toward other faiths and beliefs -- in this case through video games.

"We are trying to tell families that this game is faith-based violence and is not suitable for families," said Rev. Timothy F. Simpson, a Presbyterian minister and the interim president of the Christian Alliance for Progress.

Okay, seriously, my head is exploding with jokes. My favorite part of the article is when they say "yeah, there's violence, it's a video game. but it's spiritual warfare."