Road Rage, Served Spicy Central American Style!

Not this last week, but the week before I was running around Nicaragua. Well, I wasn't really running around, but almost ironically stuck in a pharmacy giving vitamins to villagers. It's called a Medical-Dental Mission trip, basically camping somewhere and running a 19th century medical clinic for a few days. I knew during the week there had to be something I could have to post on. What about the laughter inducing apprehensive looks of Americans staring down the, what were essentially cement outhouses (with disgusting consequences, but I won't go into that)? Maybe the "dentist office" that was ran by the super hot, but small Nicaraguan dentist that specialized (read: only) in pulling teeth, sometimes requiring her to use the age old practice of "foot on wall for bracing"? No wait, when the more chunky of the Sons and Daughters of Uncle Sam fell down in the smelly, super sticky mud? Now thats amusing, and you try not to laugh at that. I am glad though, I'm not writing about the place some people went last year, which its (I still wonder why you would name a place this) name translated literally into "Land of Mosquitoes". Errrrrrrr.

But towards the end, I realized what I would have to write about, and something right up my alley: violence. So set up the situation where the bus that has taken us around the capital for the day is coming back to the central house, which is the staging area for teams. Coming over the hill on a one way street, and literally about 20 feet from the gate to enter said house, a truck coming the other way plowed up the hill. Actually, he gassed it from the bottom as to meet us at the top. It was driven by a shirtless Sandinista (dirty pinko commie-also see my article on when to take off your shirt) that absolutely could not back up, and more so, it was our bus drivers fault for even being there. Soon a tense, and arm waving (by the Sandy) argument erupted between the two drivers screaming Spanish at each other. Finally our bus driver relented and back up. This apparently wasn't good enough for the Sandy, who then stopped his truck once he pulled up the hill to get out and come to the bus (whose door didnt close) to let him know what a bad driver he was. Then more Spanish screaming happened. But this time, instead of the bus driver waving his hands mocking the Sandy, I noticed him reaching on a side of his seat. The ol' pointing with one hand and reaching with the other. Presumably, the Sandy saw him doing it as well, as he left when the driver finally found what he was reaching for. Not a gun, but the jungle chomping weapon of yester year (well, 2006 too); a dirty, 3 foot long machete.

As I laid my head down to sleep that night I had a smile on my face, not only from the pipe smoking crocidile I had obtained (which is my new prize possession, and has also cuased a conflict of interest in if its an evil trail into attachment), but the heartwarming knowledge that while Americaniz....I mean globalization of our world has placed Coke and Pepsi firmly in the hands of Nicaraguans (but not toothbrushes for the mountain people), they still have held onto things that are Nicaraguan. Whether its the little street food vendors with pinnapple and chicken, or threatening to amputate arms, cultures still can flourish under the weight of Pirates of the Caribbean 2 adverts.

To be more sappy, I was smiling that we're all not so different in this world. Whether driving our fancy cars in America, or our old buses and trucks in Central America, humans share the same needs and wants; like the willingness to kill someone over road rage.

haha

Today, alison spilled ice cream on herself. It was hilarious! She was the laughing stalk of the entire community

Signing Statements

Last week, Slate brought up a very interesting point that might help explain why this president rarely vetos anything. That is, he uses signing statements instead.

So the Republican Congress passes a law trying to curtail the president’s use of signing statements. The president, apparently returning to work after watching back-to-back Seinfelds on TBS, instead issues a signing statement saying he won’t enforce a law (that he just signed) that ironically asks the president to curtail his use of signing statements.

danielson

I think CM will be deeply disappointed to know that (a) danielson recently released a record and (b) by coincidence, he is playing in denton tonight. CVR tried to reach him for comment only to remember that the idiot's phone is no longer operable.

CM stays on top of 'cool' causes

July, 01: While flipping through his newly purchased and much loved issue of Foreign Policy Journal cm noticed something in the back, a new cuase. "It was something about Uganda, and it had one of those blown up qoute boxes saying how everyone is talking about Darfur, but not Uganda. Right then, I knew I had something."

Upset that at the University of Oklahoma a large student group formed for Sudan, cm has reportedly been looking for the next new thing. "He always talked about Darfur this, black people that." said friend Todd, "then it was all over the news, and he was saying how it went all corporate and self-out and crap." CM's capstone teacher, Dr. Grillot noted in an interview, "He always enjoyed finding out about the next new thing. But once it became more widely reported and gained more attention he would always lose interest. I don't want to accuse him of anything, but he seems like those indy music snobs, except with international incidents."

After turning the page of his journal, cm revealed he hadn't actually read the entire story, but was sure it was far more cooler than landless peasants in Brazil.