Art Imitates Life
So here’s this point and counterpoint from the Onion. A girl I used to date, Jane, thought it sounded like how her and I used to talk about politics. I’ll let you guess which one she thought sounded like her and who sounded like me. At first I protested, but as I thought about it, she’s kinda right. I happen to have an old taped conversation of us talking about politics (I tape all my conversations):
Me: Hey, how’s it going?
Jane: (launches into a list of complaints about me, it goes on for a while)
Me: Umm, yeah, so anyway.
Jane: I just read this article about the war in Iraq, and it mentioned we have also invaded this place called.....umm...I think its called something foreign. Landiland? Yeah, what do you think about those wars?
Me: What? I think you mean ‘Afghanistan’, anyway they’re kinda totally different in their nature. One was pretty controversial and-
(Interupting)Jane: I cant believe we’re killing these Landilanders! Its so sad how everyone just beats up on Africa.
Me: *sighs and looks at the ceiling* We’re in Afghanistan to help-
Jane: You just say what George Bush tells you to in your little secret earpiece! You can’t defend anything you think! You’re a Nazi!
Me: *stare blankly* I’m not even sure what we’re talking about.
Jane: We’re talking about that bullets have been proven to cause climate change! We’re talking about how you support all these illegal wars! I thought you wanted to save Africa! You probably think we should just drop nukes on all the Landilanders! Murderer.
Me: Are you really in college, or just telling people that? I bet you’re an English major.
Jane: See? You can’t defend anything!
Me: You’re lucky I have an irrational attraction to Orientals.
hilarious.
Labels: Jane is dumb, WFH wins again
posted by wildfreehorse @ 4:31 PM
3 Comments:
Putting aside for a moment my superior mind, WFH ideas should be disregarded outright b/c he is a colonialist. Even though he means well, he is hopelessly doomed to a lifetime of disappointment in foreign affairs. As a result, we are all doomed to frustrated rants in response to our realistic assessments and rebuttals that pragmatic-minded people are merely facilitating the petulance of the citizens in the places that we colonize.
BTW, does jane happen to read the blog? Can I link it to her on facebook?
I think she reads it sometimes, but has expressed interest in only posts with her name in it. She's a humble one.
And you just wait CVR, as far as my kind, we run sh*t. Everything may be rosey now and you dont think you need us, but we're the ones that take over when everything goes really bad.
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