sunday morning quotes (tuesday edition)

"if you have a license and you can drive at night, you're like george clooney down here." -28 yr old dude who moved into a retirement community in florida

yes, he's quite a catch

"oh man! i wish i was wearing my fake mustache!" -keaton when he saw this picture of himself.

hey! look at me! i'm artsy!

amuse (v.) - to occupy in an agreeable, pleasing, or entertaining fashion. i'm already on the defensive in case someone says this post is not "amusing". it is. jerk. anyhow, sarah z and i were lucky enough to stumble across an exhibit by cornelia parker, which we agreed was awesome, and i think other people should see. i won't bore you (you lucky reader) by going into details about why its cool, just look at the pretty pictures and be amused.
she hangs stuff from the ceiling in fascinating compositions:sometimes she steamrolls them first: and then hangs them from the ceiling: well, sarah and i thought it was great.

Councilman Silcox Smokes Cox.

a fort worth city councilman introduces plans for a smoking ban. boy, his name is a gimme.

"thanks for the reach around back there"

gayest sport ever.

i blame the thugs

so i made a complete ass of myself today. and i blame the thugs, you see. the thugs who stole my cd player(s) from my car. i've had so many stolen that i've given up on them altogether and have resorted to listening to headphones while driving. its not so bad, and its become much easier and less conspicuous thanks to my new ipod nano. it rules. but here's the problem. when you're listening to headphones you can't really hear anything else, and you kinda get sucked into the music and become oblivious to your surroundings. so today i'm getting off the tollway and i roll down my window to deposit my coins and i'm feeling pretty good. i'm rocking out to some "good tunes" (to quote keaton's dad) and i'm singing along to the strokes' new songs like i'm julian freakin casablancas. so i'm driving through a parking lot for awhile, and its not until a plano mom decked out in a juicy couture jogging suit and diamonds turns and looks at me like i'm retarded that i realize that my window has been down for, oh, five minutes and i've been singing to the whole parking lot. weak. this is not the first time i've done this and i'm certain it won't be the last. though the worst was probably at school that one day when i got out of my car and kept singing along with my cd player alllll the way from the art parking lot to the language building before i realized it. anyone who goes to unt is embarrassed for me right now cause that is not a short distance. i'm sort of thankful that i'm not a good singer cause that would be really obnoxious to go around belting out songs in public like a big fat show-off. i'd rather be absent-minded than obnoxious any day.

hunting accident....or does wittington know too much?

so the vice president shot someone on their very own ranch, in the face no less, and that's pretty amusing. it probably would've been funnier if he was hurt worse, but what can you do? i wonder if you get kicked out of the nra for doing something stupid and harming their cause like that. if the vice president shot me in the face i would expect a well-paid, laid back government job that i was totally unqualified for. as soon as i recovered from the gunshot wound, of course. surely jobs like these have been awarded for less than being "accidentally" shot in the face by the vice president. i bet cheney wishes he didn't take so many smiling pictures with guns.