I'm in love with a stripper?

Before I tell my story, there are a few things that need to be known.

1. I'm a hoe. I enjoy sleeping around. I find it to be fun and I don't have any apologies about it.
2. Read Number 1.

So, Saturday the 11th, a few friends and I were innocently having a game night. Yes, a game night. It involved heated games of Battleship, UNO, Yahtzee, and Scattegories. It was then 10:30 PM and we realized it was still way early, so we could go out to the bars. We hop in to my car, still with no destination in mind. Then I say, "Hey guys. We could go to the strip club! They have male and female dancers on Saturday night, so everyone is happy." My friends agreed, and on to PT's we went.

Of course, I go around to all the different tables, checking out the ladies. I get a couple of dollar dances, life is good. Then I sit at a table. I have my dollar ready, and this stripper has a smoking body, so I have a smile on my face. Of course, she's flirting with me because that's what strippers do. I don't really think anything of it until she has her legs wrapped around the guy beside me while leaning over and talking to me. Here is the dialogue:

Stripper: "Hey, do you have your cell phone on you?"
Me: "Yep."
Stripper: "Type in this number (and she gives me the number). That's my cell phone number. Give me a call so I have yours. I want to take you home tonight."
Me: "Sounds like a plan."

That was the extent of the conversation. I take my friends home, she calles me and gives me directions to her house. When I get there, she has a fire going, two wine glasses, and a bottle of wine. I know, ridiculous, right? So, we have sex in front of her fireplace. Being the "man" that I am, I leave promptly at 6:30 AM because there's no way in hell I'm spending the night. I'm thinking, hoping, that I can get away with never speaking to her again. But, she called me ALL WEEK LONG, trying to get together.

So, on Thursday night, we go to a concert. I tell her I'm not really in the mood for going out, so she pays for my ticket to the show and my drinks all night. It was pretty sweet. Then, we go out to one of the bars near my house, where I run in to two of the girls I've hooked up with over the past month or so. And they see me with this super hot chick who's all over me. Once again, it was pretty sweet. Then, we went back to my apartment. Good times.

There are some funny things I haven't mentioned about her yet. I think she might be on drugs. No, I'm pretty sure she's on something. The bitch would not shut up! I felt like I needed one of those "wrap it up" machines from the Chappelle's show. Really, she needed to shut the hell up. I think she was popping one too many pills. And, she would not quit smoking. Chain smoking like a motherfucker. And sometimes her stories didn't make any sense. It was quite amusing, actually.

So all in all, I'm not in love with a stripper. But let me leave you with some last thoughts, provided by T-Pain:

"She poppin she rollin she rollin
She climbin that pole and
Im N Luv with a stripper
She trippin she playin she playin
Im not goin nowhere girl im stayin
Im N Luv with a stripper"