What's your damage son?

Ah! I'm going white, i have like 5 white hairs in my eyebrows. .. um.. white's better than grey right? or bald. uhg.

Saturday night my friend had a kegger, it was real fun actually. This group of about 10 showed up and brought with them all sorts of bad vibes. Smoking in the house after being asked not to do so, complaining about the music, and just demonstrating all sorts of assholery. I tried to be nice (against my nature) and ignore them. One girl decided to dive head first into the potato salad (not literally) and proceeded to voice her appreciation for Anthony Kiedis and how she wants to "hump him". Anyway, one of the friends of the graduate who had torn the ligaments in his ankle the night before while tripping over a car battery, was seated next to me at the table along with some other friends. As the group of razorhaircuts was leaving, this girl approached torn ligament dude and propositioned him on behalf of one of the other girls. She literally said, "You should come with us. *Girl Name* wants to fuck you." His reaction was hilarious. It was obvious he wasn't interested. No one was interested.

My parents moved,recently, so the hot tub in their old house was open, so i invited everyone over. the girls were in one car, the guys in mine, they had to make a stop at one of the girls house on the way and we were going to my house to get vodka and shit. I left my house, drove about 100 yards, not on the road, like in a parking lot, saw a cop and fled back to my house, 100 yards in the opposite direction. Three cops showed up and they took our licenses, and went back to the cop car. My car has those seats that fold down for access to the trunk, and while the cops were away I told a dude in the backseat, who was SLAUGHTERD to lay the seat down so we could throw the huge bottle of skyy back there, took him like 3 minutes to figure it out. My friend still had joints in his pockets, and the cop returned. He was really nice, actually, and said he'd let everyone go, because we were in my yard, except me because I had a SUSPENDED LICENSE. I didnt even know it was suspended or what for. They let my friends go sit in my house, didnt inpound my car or arrest anyone else. I went to the station, they uncuffed me, paid 300 bucks and left. The girls had another adventure at the same time.

On the other side of town (almost), the girls decided to head to a house before the hot tub romp. As they pull into their driveway, my old roommate comments that she thinks she hears someone calling for help. They go into their house and the girl says again she hears someone calling for help. One of the girls pinpoints the direction it's coming from. They look toward the east side of the street and notice a white mass on the lawn of a neighbor. Run toward the house and on the lawn was the lady who lives in the house. Keep in mind, they are WASTED. They must have smelled like a pack of hobos. I dont know exactly what words were exchanged but it went something like this:

Them: "Oh my God! What the hell happened to you?"

Lady: (face bruised up and bloody, dirt all over her) "I fell off my porch. I've been laying here for an hour calling for help."

Them: Expletives. "Here let's help you up."

Lady: "My wrist is broken."

They help her up and into her house and she is feeding them some bullshit story about falling off her porch. The theory is someone seriously rocked her shit and left her on the ground. Old roommate was mere inches from the lady's face and could not tell what she looked like because she was so jacked up.

They offered to call the cops, ambulance and help her clean up but she insisted they do nothing. She even said, "No, I'll be fine. You are going to go have a good time. I'll be okay." They wanted to check on her the next day, an offer which she vehemently refused. no one lives there but her. no idea what really happened to her but the look of her and the idea that she lay on her lawn in the rain for over an hour made one girl so nauseous that she violently threw up shortly after returning home.

You guys should start hanging with me.