Dry Humping

So I went down to Bloomington last night to see Wilco in concert. I had pretty decent seats, 10th row, so life was good... or so I thought. About 30 minutes before the concert began, a bunch of drunk frat guys sit down behind me. So I thought to myself, "Okay, I can deal with this." So this one guy kept calling himself "Daddy" and even had some sort of intramural t-shirt with his name "Daddy" on the back. This guy wouldn't shut up, so I had to call him out on the fact that he was probably the one who gave himself that nickname. His friends started laughing and said that was true. The idiot didn't bother me the rest of the night.

At that point in time, I thought I was in the clear. Then, a dumb whore decided she wanted to sneak down by our seats and hang out with the pathetic frat guys behind us. During the concert, she was standing in front of one of the guys, dancing. We're in an auditorium, and there's really not much room for 2 people to stand in front of the seat, let alone dance. But, she's a dumb whore and decided to anyway. So I'm enjoying the concert, minding my own business, and I keep getting hit it the back with her hair and/or head. I turn around to see what the deal is, and I notice them basically dry humping right behind me. I try to ignore it, but it's like an accident scene, I just can't turn away. I continue to keep getting bumped by her head, and I finally turn around and say "Can you guys please have sex somewhere else? Thanks."

I guess the moral of the story is, don't dry hump at a Wilco show. That's more of a thing to do at a Black Eyed Peas show.